See this small snippet from a post written by Dr. Rick Hanson to practice letting go of parental expectations that may be holding you back.
Why?
Sometimes external pressures are necessary, such as a flashing light on your car’s dashboard telling you to get gas. But on the whole, these pressures can breed a sense of helplessness. The freedom not to is like shock absorbers between us and our emotional reactions, allowing us to be intimate with life while feeling free within it.
How?
For one or more of the items below, imagine what it would feel like to have the freedom not to:
- Press your point home
- Struggle to get someone to change his or her mind
- Have a second drink. Or a first one.
- Worry what other people think about you
- React to what is swirling around you
- Act on an impulse
- Get into an argument
- Be swept along by anger
- Identify with a mood or point of view passing through awareness
- Take something personally
- Take responsibility for the experiences of other people
- Criticize yourself for not being able to fit into a pair of jeans
- Resist what’s unpleasant
- Drive toward what’s pleasant
- Cling to what’s heartfelt
Play with phrases like these in your mind: I’m free not to . . . I’m free not to __________ . . . I’m free . . . there is a choice . . . Slow things down, pause, buy yourself some time, that space of freedom between stimulus and response. If others are getting intense, try gently talking to yourself, reminding yourself: You are free . . . you can choose your response . . . they are over there and you are over here . . . there is freedom . . .
Notice what it’s like to feel freer. Enjoy it. Let this experience sink in.
Be at peace.
Check out the original post for the full article.
Put this into practice with a meditation by Dr. Rick Hanson on inner freedom.
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