Find out how to channel anger into serenity and foster emotional balance, even amid the chaos of parenting. Below you’ll find a summary of Dr. Rick Hanson’s post. For the full version, visit his website.
Are you feeling cross?
The practice: turn anger into a peaceful heart.
Why?
It’s normal for parents to feel angry due to societal pressures, household responsibilities, and personal frustrations. While anger is a healthy emotion that highlights areas for change, it can also create stress and strain relationships if not managed well. The key is to find a balance between suppressing anger and letting it explode, so you can address issues constructively without damaging your health or relationships.
How?
Stop Things from Building Up
- Don’t overgive.
- Blow off steam along the way.
- Take a break before reaching the breaking point.
Understand What’s Making You Angry
When anger flares up, it often has layers beneath it. Imagine it’s Wednesday after work: a mom is at the store with her three-year-old, just hoping to get home, make dinner, and relax. She says no to candy, and he has a full-blown meltdown. People start staring, and by the time she’s gotten him to the car, she finds herself yelling, overwhelmed and embarrassed. Her anger might feel like a six or seven out of ten. But, consider if it were a quiet weekend morning with no one watching — her reaction might be different, with the intensity of her anger likely lower.
Key Ways to Turn Anger into Peace
- Recognize the thoughts or beliefs that are driving your anger.
- Try to identify the softer emotions underneath, like hurt or fear, and acknowledge them — either to yourself or by sharing them with others.
- Walk away or call a friend.
- Get professional help if you are directing anger at yourself or others in harmful ways.
- Ask your heart for guidance.
This “Just One Thing” (JOT) is adapted from Mother Nurture by Dr. Rick Hanson. For a deeper dive into these concepts, explore the full book.
Discover more “Just One Things” here.
Subscribe to Dr. Rick Hanson’s newsletters for meditations and other helpful resources.
