Recognize Signs of Hyper-Independence

Have you heard of the saying “Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing”? Well, this holds true even for self-sufficiency and independence. When we cross the line from healthy independence to hyper-independence, our well-being can take a hit. 

Do you resonate with any of these?

• You’re self-reliant and it’s hard to ask for help.
• You have a hard time saying no. 
• You take on more responsibilities even if you’re overwhelmed.
• You seek perfection and may neglect self-care.
• It’s hard to delegate tasks.
• You’re emotionally guarded and it’s difficult to trust others.
• You tend to isolate and have few close relationships. 

These are hallmark signs of hyper-independence. It’s tough navigating life on your own, and when you’re a parent, white-knuckling it solo, the “I can do it all” mentality can be a recipe for burnout. 

Now that we recognize we might be trying to carry too much of the load on our own, let’s reflect on why this is happening. With a better understanding, we can take steps to practice trust and share the load. 

1. What experiences during childhood might have shaped your mindset? Were you praised for doing things on your own? Was there a lack of parental presence? 

2. How do you feel when you ask for help? 

3. Do you feel like you don’t deserve help? If so, why?

4. What are the negative effects of trying to do everything on your own? Are you stressed, burnt out, or resentful towards others?

Then, it might be time to turn a “weakness” into a strength, as healthy independence is a great thing! Find a better balance by learning to Task, Trust, and Talk!