Build a stronger sense of connection and happiness in your relationships by savoring and amplifying positive moments with this activity from the Greater Good Science Center.
Ask a friend, family member, colleague, romantic partner, or other acquaintance to tell you about a good thing that happened to them today. It does not matter what type of event or how important it was, as long as it was a positive thing that happened to them and they feel comfortable discussing it. Try to be mindful of your timing—it may be hard for someone to talk about a good experience if they are having a bad day. You can also use this exercise to respond when someone spontaneously tells you about a good experience.
As they share, listen and try to respond in an “active-constructive” manner, meaning that you:
- To the best of your ability, make good eye contact. This shows that they have your full attention and that you are interested in what they have to say.
- Express positive emotion by smiling, or even cheering (if appropriate!).
- Make enthusiastic comments—e.g., “That sounds great,” “You must be so excited,” or “Your hard work is definitely paying off.”
- Ask open-ended questions to find out more about the positive parts of the event. Questions about who, what, when, where, or why can help sustain your conversation. For example, if the person tells you about receiving recognition at work for a project they completed, you could ask for more details about the project, what aspects of the project they feel especially proud of, and how it felt to be recognized for it.
- Comment on the positive implications and potential benefits of the event. For example, “I bet this means you have a better chance of getting a promotion this year.”
Many people, when they first hear about this exercise, worry that when they try to do it, their responses will sound phony or scripted. However, once they start, many people report that it feels natural and easy to do.
One strategy is to pick a specific aspect of the event that sticks out to you and begin by commenting on that: “You seem really happy about what your boss said—tell me more.” Or, “It must have been satisfying to do so well on something you worked so hard for.”
For the complete details on this practice, visit the original post.
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