Discover ideas from PANDA to connect with friends, even when you’re short on time and energy.
Tips for staying in touch with friends
With new responsibilities and busy schedules, it can feel difficult to stay in touch with your friends. Many parents feel exhausted and don’t have the same energy for socialising as they did before they had kids.
Here are a few ways you can try to stay connected with your friends.
- Sign your baby/child up to the same activity if your friend has a baby/child the same age
- Send voice notes
- Messages
- Phone calls
- FaceTime/video chat
- Set a regular catch up
- Catch up as a whole family with another family
- Organise playdates with your friends with babies/kids
- Co-parent with a friend for an evening and share the end of day routine if they have a baby or kids too. This might include preparing dinner, sharing a meal, managing bathtime, cleaning up, and getting your baby/kids ready for bed together before heading home.
- Sign your baby/child up to the same activity if your friend has a baby/child the same age
It’s also helpful to:
- Acknowledge that it can take a bit of extra effort in this stage of life
- Adjust your expectations of yourself and your friends with children – you might not be able to socialise as often as before kids
Tips for finding new friends when you’re a parent
Where to find new friends
- Playgrounds
- Baby classes and activities (swimming lessons, music classes, playgroups, gymnastics, sports, Storytime at the library)
- Mum and baby exercise classes
- New parent groups (commonly known as playgroups, or mums’ and dads’ groups). These are run by your local council.
- Meetups for parents with similar circumstances (meet other single parents, parents with children with special needs), or meetups for people with similar interests (walking groups, book clubs)
- Meeting other school/kinder/daycare parents through kid’s parties, play dates, school/kinder events
- Facebook groups (for example, groups for your local area for mums/dads, groups for a community with similar interests)
- Friend finding apps
- If you can find time once a week for yourself you might like to join a class doing something you enjoy (for example, sport, pottery, art, music, book clubs). It can be fun meeting new friends with similar interests.
Tips for approaching new friends
- Ask if anyone wants to grab a coffee after a baby class
- Suggest meeting up at a park or play centre with your babies/children
- Ask another parent to go for a walk with your babies in their prams
- Strike up a conversation with someone new when taking your baby/child to their regular activities such as swimming lessons, music classes, or playgroups
- Find common interests to chat about
- Know that it’s okay if you don’t ‘click’ with someone
Managing Social Anxiety
Lower your expectations
- You may not become close friends and that’s okay.
- It can still be a positive experience to connect with someone new even if you don’t see each other again.
- Some people may not be interested in talking. This may be due to a range of things and is likely not personal. It can be helpful to remind ourselves of more likely reasons that they are uninterested. They might have been up all night with their baby and are tired, or they might be distracted by other things on their mind.
Take the pressure off
Try to focus on enjoying the interaction with someone new instead of wondering about the future.
Go at your own pace
Start with small actions such as smiling at someone and being open to chatting if they initiate a conversation. As you feel more comfortable, you might like to say hello, or start a conversation. The more you practice, the more your confidence will build.
Read the full article on the original post.
For more insightful articles and mental health resources, check out the PANDA Learning Hub.
Subscribe to the PANDA newsletter for mental health tools and resources delivered to your inbox.