Try this quick activity by mindfulness meditation teacher Hunter Clarke-Fields to pause and listen with full presence, helping you respond with intention instead of reacting on autopilot.
1. Stop what you’re doing.
Close the laptop, put down the phone and orient your body toward your child (or whomever you are listening to). Take a conscious breath. Let go of your agenda as best you can. Bring yourself back to the present moment.
2. Focus your attention on the speaker.
They are the “object” of your mindfulness. Bring an attitude of kindness and curiosity. Listen.
3. If judgements/thoughts/arguments/etc. arise (as they likely will),
just notice them, don’t judge them, then redirect your attention back to the speaker.
4. Be aware of your own felt senses,
like a knot in your belly or tight shoulders. Notice your own feelings and thoughts that arise.
5. Don’t rush to speak.
It’s okay to have silence and a healthy pause before you speak. This is the space you need to respond compassionately rather than react on autopilot. Sometimes your response can simply be an empathetic sound.
For more practices like this, check out Raising Good Humans Every Day.
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