Harness the power of the Acknowledge, Respond, and Expand method outlined by Cerebral to foster deeper, more meaningful conversations.
The ARE Method
Dr. Carol Flemming is a specialist in communication, and developed the ARE method, which stands for Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. The ARE method is designed to provide a simple framework for starting conversations, and begins with “small talk”. Though small talk is often superficial, it has been proven to be an entry point for deeper connections.
Anchor
Start the conversation about a shared environment or interest. This can include something you’re experiencing or doing together; it is usually something “surface level” that creates an anchor for a more significant conversation.
Examples include:
Arriving the first day of class:
- Mariana: Hey, do you mind if I sit here?
- Marcus: Sure!
- Mariana: This is intro to philosophy with Dr. Lamey right? I’ve heard good things about him…
Meeting at a party:
- Michelle: The music and food here is pretty good, and the weather is perfect today!
- Jay: I agree! It’s been so overcast lately, and it’s nice to finally be outside in the sun…
Reveal
Give some brief personal background information or share what brought you to the place you are both at. Giving some personal information can start to build trust, and usually builds on the anchor you established.
Examples continued:
Arriving the first day of class:
- Marcus: Yep! You’re in the right place.
- Mariana: Cool! I’m feeling excited, but kinda nervous about the class. It’s my first time studying philosophy…
Meeting at a party:
- Michelle: My name is Michelle by the way, what’s your name?
- I’m Jay, nice to meet you!
- Michelle: Nice to meet you too, Jay! I really like the music they’ve been playing, it’s actually by one of my favorite artists…
Encourage
Invite the other person to provide some personal information by asking questions. It can be helpful to ask open ended question that continue to build on the anchor and information that you revealed.
Examples continued:
Arriving the first day of class:
- Mariana: How’re you feeling about the class?
- I’m really interested in philosophy, but it’s actually my first philosophy class too.
- Mariana: Oh cool! What interests you in philosophy?
Meeting at a party:
- Michelle: Have you ever heard of the artist before?
- Jay: I can’t say I have, but I’m liking them so far.
- Michelle: It’s all good, if you like them you can find them on any streaming service. What genres of music are you into?
Practicing the ARE Method
By taking some time to reflect on and practice the ARE Method before a conversation, we can feel a little more prepared and ease any anxiety we may feel. Think of a potential situation where you can practice the ARE Method to start a conversation with someone, and use the format below or add your own responses to the editable PDF of this resource HERE. Hint: describe the time, place, and person if you already have someone in mind.
Read the full article on the original post.
Find more resources like this on the Cerebral blog.