Asking for help might not come easy, but as a parent, it’s an important skill to help you prioritize your and your child’s well-being. Follow this three-step method to build trust and practice sharing the load.
1. Task
Find a task that someone could help with (even if it’s not something you need help with). If you don’t know where to start, assess the other person’s strengths. What do they enjoy doing? What are they good at? And start small. Once you build up trust, you’ll feel more comfortable with asking for help when you need it.
2. Trust
Find a balance between control and trust. Be clear on what you would like help with but also understand that people may do things differently from how we may approach a task. Practice trust and flexibility by letting the other person complete the task.
3. Talk
Once the task is completed, communicate. What went well? Show appreciation for the support and also discuss what you guys can do better as a team. Would it help if the other person initiates this task next time? Could you have clarified the task better?
Also, reflect on your own. How did asking for help make you feel? Did you feel more supported by someone helping you out? Was it scary not having control over something?
It might be uncomfortable the first couple of times, but building trust and asking for help are skills that we can practice and get better at. To get clarity on why sharing the load as a parent benefits our kids, check out Parenting Teamwork: Why It’s Important.