Try this writing exercise from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley to shift your mindset from self-judgment to self-compassion by writing a letter to yourself from the perspective of someone who cares deeply about you.
Here’s a quick overview of how to complete the exercise. For full details, visit the original post.
- Identify a part of yourself — such as a trait, behavior, or aspect of your life — that leaves you feeling slightly insecure or inadequate.
- Reflect on how it makes you feel. Sad? Embarrassed? Angry?
- Write a compassionate and understanding letter to yourself, addressing a part of yourself you struggle with. Focus on expressing acceptance and nurturing, knowing there’s no right or wrong way to do this exercise. While writing, keep these guidelines in mind:
- Imagine that there is someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally for who you are. What would that person say to you about this part of yourself?
- Acknowledge that no one is perfect and recognize that many people face the same challenges you do.
- Consider the ways in which events that have happened in your life, the family environment you grew up in, or even your genetic makeup may have contributed to this thing about yourself that you dislike.
- Gently explore ways to improve or cope with this aspect of yourself, focusing on positive changes that could enhance your well-being without self-judgment.
4. After writing the letter, put it out of sight for a little while. Then come back to it later and read it again. It may be especially helpful to read it whenever you’re feeling bad about this part of yourself, as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.